Til Death Do We Part
by PointlessStoriesAreMyThing
Summary: A series of poems concerning Matt's feelings about dying with Mello. Different situations, perspectives, and thoughts. Slight MxM, warning!
1. Reminiscing

Smiling slightly at his peaceful face,

I take his hand inside my own.

I remember clearly when I won that race,

The way his eyes had sparkled and shone,

Bright blue making me stare in awe.

I was surprised to find my heart wasn't made of stone.

I surpassed all the other challengers,

Making sure my love was shown.

I was ecstatic when it was accepted,

When light pink lips pressed against my own.

I look at the clock on my mobile and sigh

Slowly flipping closed my phone.

It's all planned out – we die today.

But as I snuggle towards him, I'm happy, because at least I wont die alone.


	2. Decision Making

**A/N: So, I really hate the name of this little poem...any suggestions? =)**

Holding his hand

Tightly in my own,

I turned away from his fire-spitting eyes,

Unable to face the emotion they had shone

Brightly with, unabashed,

Proof that he had known.

"Come on," he murmured, pleading with

Blue eyes I had shown

Had complete control over me.

I noted how my heart rate had flown

Through the roof, thanks of course

To the expression he had thrown -

Pouting lips, pleading eyes...

I never realized how attached I'd grown.

I kissed him then. To him this may just be a game,

But I'll die with him, if only because I'm afraid to die alone.


	3. Last Night On Earth

My hand grasps his blond strands

As his tongue runs itself against my own.

I shiver lightly, grinding our hips together,

Reveling in his excited moan.

I rip off his shirt, throwing it to the floor,

Running my hands across his muscular chest.

I've made up my mind. This is our last night on Earth and

Damn it, it's going to be the best.

This will be my last night with him, my love,

Tomorrow we'll both be dying.

As I pull back for air,

I realize I'm not the only one crying.


	4. Salvation

**A/N: This is a bit of a long one! I don't actually speak Slovenian, so if someone who does speak it wouldn't mind telling me if I have it correct or not, I would greatly appreciate it!**

Mello says a silent prayer before he lays down to sleep,

Lips forming soundless words,

Clutching desperately at his rosary, his knuckles white.

Upon examining further, a realization hits me like a ton of bricks -

Mello's hands are shaking.

My world starts crashing around me

As I take in his pale, shirtless form

Begging for some sort of salvation, that, I know,

He realizes he isn't going to receive.

That knowledge, _kills_ him.

Still, fervently, he prays,

Blond brows furrowed in painful concentration.

I can't take it anymore; I have to save him,

Stop him from drowning in the sea of hopelessness I see him about to

Fall face-first into.

I crawl over towards him, place my head on his shoulder.

His hand comes to tangle in my hair, his breath catches;

It's no longer just his hand, but his whole body that is shaking.

Snaking an arm around his waist, I sit silently as he begs,

In his native Slovenian, one last prayer:

"_Prosimo._"

_Please._

My heart shatters as, for the very first time,

Mello's guards drop completely down,

Revealing him to me for what he truly is:

Breaking.

Suddenly, a surge of hate grows within me

For the _bastard_ that _dared_ to hurt my Mello,

The son of a bitch that managed to break him.

I've never hated anyone as much as I now hate Kira.

Shaking limbs wrap around me, so I snuggle in deeper,

Closer to the man that I love.

He kisses my hair, my forehead, the crown of my head.

"_Prosimo, prosimo, prosimo..."_

My heart stops at the next whispered words out of his mouth -

"_Rešite ga."_

My heart stops as I realize -

He wasn't praying for his own salvation.

He was praying for mine.


	5. Religion

We were dynamic,

Always have been, always will be.

Some way, some how,

I'm hoping the Lord will see

That together, we were amazing,

Unstoppable, impossible, and

We really had no choice but to end up like this,

Together, hand in hand.

I wish I had some sort of

Religion to believe in,

But I'm not like Mello,

Who truly regrets every sin.

From stealing his first chocolate bar,

To sharing our first kiss,

He's always stopped at night, prayed for forgiveness,

Even when I try to convince him he's not remiss.

It's hard, sometimes,

Knowing that he considers his love for me a major sin.

It's harder though, knowing, if he's right,

All the trouble he'll be in.

I can't imagine my Mello,

My angel, my friend

Spending eternity in a place

Where misery has no end.

It hurts too much

To even think about,

Imagining the way his face would twist

In agony, the way he'd shout...

I may not know much about religion,

But our love is true, strong.

So how could the God that made it hate us,

How could it be wrong?

I may not know much about religion,

But in the silent darkness where no one can see,

I beg for salvation for my Mello,

Just like he prayed for me.

For, though I know that Mels would hate me,

For even thinking something so dumb and dim,

I'd rather God punish me, make _me_ suffer in Hell,

Than place the punishment on him.


	6. I Choose Life

I know there's a difference

Between throwing your life away, and

Doing something you know

Will result in your death.

If I were to throw my life away,

I would be doing something risky,

Knowing I would die, and

Not giving a damn about it.

But this, this is different.

Because I care about this.

I don't want to die.

But to live without my love, my best friend,

My superhero, my Mello, well,

That isn't really living.

I don't want to die, but to just sit back and watch

The only one I care about be ripped away...

That, to me, is worse than death.

That's Hell.

So, I set off, knowing I wont return,

Knowing that I will die,

Ignoring that little voice in the back of my head,

Asking, "Will it hurt?"

Because honestly, I don't know, and

I don't want to.

Not because it doesn't matter,

Not because I don't care,

But because continuing to live

Without my Mello...

That would hurt more.

So, I set off to die,

Not exactly willingly,

But resignedly,

Knowing that I have to make the impossible choice -

The one between death, and

Misery.

The way I see it, to die would be

To be with Mello.

To live would be

To exist only in pain.

Like I said before,

Life without him,

Isn't really life,

Because living without love,

Isn't really living.

So, in my mind,

I'm choosing between life and Hell,

Life being death,

Hell being without Mello.

When my mind puts it that way,

I really have no choice.

I will choose my Mello,

My life,

Every time.


	7. No Regrets

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Kira Yokai, who never fails to review. Thanks so much for making my day!**

* * *

As the alarm clock rings at

Five AM,

I roll out of bed,

Try not to think of the life I condemn

With every movement

I'm making,

Every step that

I'm taking.

As my feet touch the floor,

I can't take it anymore.

I lay back down

Into the arms of my lover,

Close my eyes,

As if scared to uncover

The truth that is

Staring me in the face.

I'm too scared to move.

I don't want to leave this place.

A hand on my head

Soon starts me crying.

I can't live without him,

But I'm scared to be dying.

"Please, Mels," I beg

"Can't we just find some way

To get out of this?

Can't we run away?"

His lips graze my skin.

I can tell that he's frowning.

I'm causing him pain.

He knows that I'm drowning

In fear and shame.

I need him to make this okay.

Both of us know

That we don't want to die today.

His arms wrap around me,

I can't tell who's shaking,

If it's me or him,

But I know my heart's breaking.

"Matty, breathe," are the words

He whispers into my ear.

"It's okay," he states slowly,

"If you want to stay here."

"And leave you alone?"

He shudders at the thought.

My mind is made up

Before the shudders are wrought

From his lean body.

I shake my head. "No."

I look at his eyes.

"If you go, I go."

"Okay then," he sighs.

He kisses my forehead before he stands.

I follow soon after,

My heart in his hands.

Then, he kisses me deeply

As I reach for my cigarettes.

"Matty," he murmurs, breaking away.

"Promise me something - no regrets."


End file.
